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Writer's pictureShy Ashkenazi

Why I Say "We" and Not "You"

I was leading a team building workshop for a large group. I gave instructions for activities, we talked about their goals and roles working together and about how things should be viewed and done.

During a break one of the junior leadership members came up to me and said, “I noticed you say, “what WE are going to do… WE should… WE ought to…”. Why do you insist on that?”


Using “WE” is something I have been doing for a very long time, and although I didn’t give him this very long answer, he got me wanting to put it down in writing.


My short answer was, “When I am here with you, leading you, we are doing things together. When I give someone a task, we are both responsible for it, in different ways. We share it. If we want to succeed as a team, we need to think as a team. A team is not “YOU” or “ME”, it’s “US”, “WE” …”


I believe that every word spoken holds weight, shaping not just the immediate conversation but the whole team dynamics. So, one subtle yet powerful choice I consciously make is to use "we" rather than "you" when addressing the people I work with. This preference isn't merely semantic; it reflects a deeper commitment to fostering a culture of shared responsibility, collective journey, and mutual growth.


Shared Responsibility

By saying "WE," I signal that our achievements and challenges are shared. This inclusive language aims to encourage each team member to take ownership, knowing they are integral to our shared goals.


Embarking on a Journey Together

Using "WE" reinforces that we are in this together—one unit navigating towards a common destination. This mindset cultivates camaraderie and solidarity, motivating everyone to support each other through both smooth sailing and rough waters.


A Team Learning Experience

Learning is a continuous process. "WE" implies that we all have something to learn, regardless of role or experience. It encourages open dialogue, knowledge sharing, and a willingness to embrace new ideas, fostering an environment where everyone feels valued and empowered to contribute their insights.

Building a Culture of Collaboration


Lastly, using "WE" builds a culture of collaboration rather than hierarchy. Creating a space where everyone feels heard and respected. When decisions are made as a team, each member takes pride in the outcome, knowing their voice matters.


In essence, my choice of "WE" over "YOU" is a reflection of my leadership philosophy—one that values unity, shared responsibility, and continuous learning. No matter if I am leading you on a one-hour workshop, if we are working together on a single project or being a team for a long time, when I am with you I am a part of that “WE”.

 




 

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